linguae(languages)

ipa-0
This user does not understand the International Phonetic Alphabet.
en-0
This user does not understand English (or understands it with considerable difficulty).
fr-0
Cet utilisateur ne comprend pas le français ou seulement avec des difficultés notables.
zh-0
此用戶無法理解中文,或難以理解中文。
la-0
HIC·​VSOR·​LINGVAM·​LATINAM·​NON·​INTELLEGIT·​AVT·​EAM·​INTELLEGIT·​AEGRE.
漢字
汉字
此用戶反對運動式的漢字簡化。
?
This about page contains sarcasm.

res meae(facts about me)

cs.PL
This user is a computer scientist wannabe.
Logo of the International Collegiate Programming Contest
This user was into competitive programming once upon a time.
UTC-4 UTC-5
The zoneinfo entry for this user's localtime is America/New_York.
TETRA-PHOBIA
This user is of Chinese ancestry.
слово
This user allegedly has partial Slavic ancestry.
1997
This user is a "Zillennial".
Anatomical heart emoji
This user has a heart condition.
3D model of cis-9-Octadecenoic acid
This user is not cis.
This user is ace.
Userbox with heart
This about page is littered with Userboxes as seen on Wikipedia. Click me for image attributions.
Woman's hat emoji
This user is not the late Queen of the United Kingdom, but still likes hats.
Thought balloon emoji
多行不義必自斃。
Unjust is doomed to destruction.

programmatura(software)

FOSS
This user prefers free software and has made contributions to multiple FOSS projects.
⌨️
This user can type at 90 WPM.
Gentoo Linux Logo
This user uses Gentoo Linux.
Debian GNU/Linux Logo
This user runs Debian GNU/Linux on servers.
Arch Linux Logo
This user also uses Arch Linux, by the way.
A butchered Windows Logo with handcuffs
This user runs Microsoft Windows under duress.
A not very accurate rendation of the old Apple Inc Logo
This user dreads macOS and all post-2015 Apple products.
Vim Logo
This user uses Vim.
FVWM Logo
This user uses FVWM.
Firefox Logo
This website is tested on Firefox and Chromium.
Chromium Logo
Lynx Logo created by Brandi Weed based on a character by Conrad Wong
This website is readable with Lynx and the like.

apparatus(hardware)

The TrackPoint on the keyboard of a ThinkPad
This user owns multiple ThinkPad laptops.
Framework Computer Logo in a circle
This user has a laptop made by Framework Computer Inc.
A not very accurate rendation of the old Apple Inc Logo
This user has a PowerBook G4 but doesn't really use it any more.
Click wheel on an iPod Classic
This user has an iPod.
Raspberry Pi Logo
This user owns more than a dozen Raspberry Pi boards.
Icon of a generic server
This user has a homelab.
Trumpet emoji
This user has a bunch of hardware synthesizers and doesn't know what to do with them.
Icon containing a wrench and a screwdriver
This user has performed component-level repairs on electronics and supports the right to repair.

ioci(amusements)

Grass block from Minecraft
This user might be somewhat addicted to Minecraft.
Yin yang emoji
This user was an avid player of shooting games from the Touhou Project.
Loudly crying face emoji
... but stopped playing because of massive skill issues.
Multiple musical notes emoji
This user is a music producer (sometimes).
Musical keyboard emoji
This user plays the piano (rarely).
This space is for rent.

linguae programmationis(programming languages)

ASM-0
This user does not understand assembly (or does not want to program in it).
BASIC-0
This user does not understand BASIC (or does not want to program in it).
C-0
This user does not understand C (or does not want to program in it).
C++-0
This user does not understand C++ (or does not want to program in it).
hs-0
This user does not understand Haskell (or does not want to program in it).
Java-0
This user does not understand Java (or does not want to program in it).
js-0
This user does not understand JavaScript (or does not want to program in it).
ml-0
This user does not understand ML (or does not want to program in it).
lua-0
This user does not understand Lua (or does not want to program in it).
lisp-0
This user does not understand Lisp (or does not want to program in it).
pas-0
This user does not understand Pascal (or does not want to program in it).
php-0
This user does not understand PHP (or does not want to program in it).
py-0
This user does not understand Python (or does not want to program in it).
rs-0
This user does not understand Rust (or does not want to program in it).

conexiones(contact)

Open mailbox with raised flag emoji
Send your complaints to chris@pineapple.cat
Open mailbox with lowered flag emoji
Or to this alternative address if you can decipher it: echo '49:CDac`_hfo8>2:=]4@>' | tr '\!-~' 'P-~\!-O'
[ m ]
This user is on Matrix
@chirs241097:matrix.org
Key emoji
My PGP public key, if you want to use it.

frequenter allatae quaestiunculae(frequently asked questions)

Q1: Why is it "chirs241097" instead of "chris241097" in your usernames?
A1: That was an old typo...
However according to the Haskell tutorial found at haskell.org, "chirs" == sort "chris" and is her twin nemesis. So that was an unintended, but appreciated side-effect.
Why did I use "her" here? I wish I had an answer for you!
Q2: Why do the pages on your site look so ugly?
A2: The reason is simple but "irrefutable": I simply like this style.
Q3: What the hell is the favicon of your site?
A3: Well, it's something I cobbled together in a minute, half of which was me picking the color :).
Q4: Who's that character down there?
A4: Komeiji Koishi, manipulator of the unconscious mind.
The illustration is created by ana and you may find the original here.