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+			<li><a href="/"><h1>Chrisoft</h1></a></li>
+			<li><a href="/blog"><h2>Blog</h2></a></li>
+			<li><a href="#"><h3 id="title">Does gaming make me merrier &amp; more relaxed or the opposite?</h3></a></li>
+			<li><span>Tags</span>
+			<ul id="tagslist">
+			<li><a href="/blog/list/garbage/">garbage</a></li></ul>
+			</li>
+			<li id="tocouter">
+				<span>Table of Contents</span>
+				<ul id="tocroot">
+				<li><a class="toctarg" href="#tocanch0">
+Disclaimer: What this article is and what it is not
+</a></li><li><a class="toctarg" href="#tocanch1">"Playing saps the will"</a></li><li><a class="toctarg" href="#tocanch2">Clumsy me</a></li><li><a class="toctarg" href="#tocanch3">Finally...</a></li><li><a class="toctarg" href="#tocanch4">The Touhou project and Clumsy me cont'd</a></li></ul>
+			</li>
+			<li style="margin-left:-0.5em"><a id="prevp" href="2018-01-07.html">Prev post</a></li>
+			<li style="margin-left:-0.5em"><a id="nextp" href="2018-03-17.html">Next post</a></li>
+		</ul>
+	</div>
+	<div id="content">
+		<h2 id="titleh" class="TText" style="font-wight:normal;">Does gaming make me merrier &amp; more relaxed or the opposite?</h2>
+		<div id="datetags" class="TText" style="margin-bottom:1em;">2018-02-05<br>#garbage</div>
+		<hr><div id="article" class="TText">
+<article>
+<h2 id="tocanch0" class="tvis">
+Disclaimer: What this article is and what it is not
+</h2>
+<p>
+	</p><ul>
+		<li>It's abount my current status.</li>
+		<li>It expresses my fear of losing interest on everything.</li>
+		<li>It doesn't speak bad of the game industry.</li>
+		<li>Nor do I try to convince you to behave like me. Although it
+		saves money, it's horrible.
+		</li>
+	</ul>
+<p></p>
+<h2 id="tocanch1" class="tvis">"Playing saps the will"</h2>
+<p>
+The heading is a literal translation of the Chinese idiom 「玩物丧志」.
+80% of the parents in China believes in this phrase, mine included.
+So I was strictly kept away from most ways of entertainment in my early
+years. During this period I developed distinct interests among the age
+group such as disassembling gadgets, programming and some music skills.
+Also due to the same reason, I've never had or even touched any device whose
+sole functionality is gaming (i.e. a gaming console, or even a Tamagotchi).
+</p>
+<p>
+The only way to play video games I was aware of then was to go to a stupid
+website within a intranet of my area. There was a deeply hidden link where a
+lot of flash games are hosted. There were plenty mockups of the Super Mario
+series, 「魔塔」<a id="n1" href="#note1" class="note">[1]</a>
+replicas and some strategic games, which definitely contributed to the
+shaping of my game preferences.
+</p>
+<p>
+The only non-flash game played by me when I was in the elementary school was
+Road Rash 2002.
+</p>
+<p>
+The only non-flash game I played during junior high school was Ballance.
+(although I also played a custom map (the tower defense one) for Warcraft
+III, a little Red Alert 2 and beat hazard, these never became my dominating
+game choice.) I played through the main content in the first month. But as
+for the DLC (Level 13, 「速度」/"Sudu"), I didn't pass it until the last day
+of Feburary this year. After going through the first 12 levels, I devoted
+myself to modding and later, cloning the entire game. I even made a new
+but somehow stupid game with the same engine called WHG3D. I still faced the
+pressure from my parents because they didn't want me do such "improper
+business".
+</p>
+<p>
+Of course I played solitaire and minesweeper, but at this time I wasn't
+aware of the actual rules of minesweeper so all I did was clicking randomly.
+</p>
+<h2 id="tocanch2" class="tvis">Clumsy me</h2>
+<p>
+After getting into senior high school, and later, the StupiD University,
+I got more time of my own. I was able to play more than ever, but suddenly
+I found out I was too clumsy to play... 
+</p>
+<p>
+I tried...
+</p>
+<ul>
+	<li>osu! but I was so clumsy that I couldn't play even with a
+touchscreen at the lowest difficulty.</li>
+	<li>the Touhou project but I am so clumsy that I couldn't even make it
+through the normal difficulty of most releases. More on this later.</li>
+	<li>Minecraft but I was constantly killed by myself using custom potions
+</li>
+	<li>Snakebird but I was so dumb that I couldn't even make it through the
+fifth level.</li>
+	<li>Portal and Portal 2 but I always got stuck in infinite loops.</li>
+	<li>Neverball but I don't even know how to jump properly.</li>
+</ul>
+<p>
+These games are actually playable for me:
+</p>
+<ul>
+	<li>Minesweeper: finally I am not clicking randomly anymore. I tried to
+be hardcore at this one but my highscores were capped at 130 seconds on
+hard. Not even close to 100 seconds.</li>
+	<li>2048: once you get the trick, you can pass it infinity times.</li>
+	<li>Patience: although I have little patience, I play patience. If I
+got stuck, I just redeal.</li>
+	<li>Minecraft: still I was constantly killed by myself using custom
+potions.</li>
+	<li>sequels of BTD: these games suck and lags a lot.</li>
+	<li>chrome://dino: not really playable. I don't know what the fifth
+digit of the score is for because I can literally see nothing after reaching
+2400.</li>
+</ul>
+<h2 id="tocanch3" class="tvis">Finally...</h2>
+<p>
+	All of these leads to my current situation: I still play those
+"playable" games. For example I can reach round 100 in BMC with a level 35
+city on most maps with ease and I can get to 4096 in 2048 without much
+effort, but I always suffer from a strong feeling of voidness
+<a id="n2" href="#note2" class="note">[2]</a>
+ after stopping playing. I am unsure about the source of such feeling, but
+it is definitely related to playing games. The feeling is so strong that I
+often stuck for hours before I can actually start getting my jobs done.
+</p>
+<p>
+	Probably due to the fear of creating more voidness, I refuse to learn
+playing a new game. Also I am gradually losing interest in the games I am
+still playing. This could be concerning because once I lost interest in
+every game I may be bored to death. All I can do now is to hope that I
+would have developed other interests to entertain myself then.
+</p>
+<h2 id="tocanch4" class="tvis">The Touhou project and Clumsy me cont'd</h2>
+<p>
+	I came across this when I was in junior high school. At that time I
+thought this was merely girls shooting unknown substance while avoiding
+other unknown substance coming in all directions.
+</p>
+<p>
+	Later I found the music of this series interesting and started actually
+playing it. Before long I started adoring those cute <a id="n3" href="#note3" class="note">[3]</a> characters as well.
+I changed my wallpapers on all my devices to pictures of those characters
+so that I can see them everywhere. Also I my favourite playlists were
+replaced by the in-game music.
+</p>
+<p>
+	But all of these can't hide the fact that I suck at this game. I can't
+play through the Normal difficulty of most releases, some not even the Easy
+difficulty. This is probably due to some erroneous mechanics of my control
+system -- sometimes when my intent was to press a certain key, I may press
+another one instead. <a id="n4" href="#note4" class="note">[4]</a>Strangely this happens only when
+I am playing games, it seldom happens when I am typing. Just in case you
+are wondering, I type faster than most Chinese computer users, at around
+330 cpm or 66 wpm. However this doesn't help me become a decent gamer.
+</p>
+<p>
+What makes everything even worse is that I've got heart disease, making it
+impossible for me to play any games that require high tension or may
+cause great excitement. These games may really harm me.
+</p>
+<p>
+Any advice on how to fix me is highly appreciated.
+</p>
+</article>
+</div><br><hr>
+		<div class="TText" id="notediv" style="font-size:80%;"><span class="TText"><a id="note1" href="#n1">[1]</a>: lit. "Magic Tower", an RPG game<br></span><span class="TText"><a id="note2" href="#n2">[2]</a>: Something like extreme boredom, but not exactly.<br></span><span class="TText"><a id="note3" href="#n3">[3]</a>: In a oriental
+way -- a Japonic way to be more specific <br></span><span class="TText"><a id="note4" href="#n4">[4]</a>: Also applicable to mouse clicks. When I try
+to activate a certain ability in BTD, I may find myself dying just because
+I was hitting the wrong button.<br></span></div>
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